


Heartbreak

by Kidfish



Series: these poems are for you [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, So much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 07:44:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8363800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kidfish/pseuds/Kidfish
Summary: Some feelings I had after my first heartbreak





	

Hot. It’s hot. Thoughts buzzing around your head faster, faster, faster. It creates friction that inside your head can’t seem to stop. Too hot. Like a furnace, it burns everywhere: inside your body, inside your head, inside your heart. But then, suddenly, it’s too cold. So cold that you have to gasp for air. Thoughts become muddled, not processing. Conversations, actions blur past the tears but you don’t notice because it hurts too much. Who cares? Why should you care? How can you care when it hurts so much? The first second was like a sucker-punch to the stomach; the second was like your heart was a glass bottle thrown with so much force at a brick wall that it breaks into a million pieces. Maybe more. Shattered, yet they still resembles the thing they once were. Like there is still hope. Hope that it would be different, different from the last times, but it’s not. Of course it’s not. But you thought that maybe just maybe this could work because it was real this time. Not some fucked up fantasy of what love was or supposed to be. She was the real thing. But when you play with fire there is always a chance you’re going to get burned. It hurts, with every breath, every thought, every step, every fucking second of your fucking life. You can’t breathe. Your head is under too deep and every time you open your mouth more water comes pouring in and you choke. You choke every time you think of her; on the hope that it might return to what it was. But you know it can’t, it won’t. But you can’t keep yourself from gagging. The tears don’t seem to be able to fall, so they stay bottled up inside, just another damn thing to hide. The pressure is building inside your head and you think you’re only moments from bursting. It just can’t stop. Stop. Stop thinking about her, about what happened between you two. On what you had; the thought of forever. You never should have hoped that far and that’s what’s stopping you, that’s the thought that keeps stabbing at your already broken heart. It’s what is keeping from healing you, moving on. That one fucking piece of hope it burns so bright in your heart, but it’s also the thing that is causing the dark. It’s the thing that breaks over and over again, beyond repair. This is what heartbreak feels like.


End file.
